this is my favorite commercial of all time:

And I have watched it three times in a row just now and cried.

I miss Spain so much. I wish I hadn’t complained so much, or wasted so much time caring more about my grade than enjoying myself. There are lots of little things that remind me of Spain, like Nesquick. I always wish it were Colacao. Or water bottles… they’re so expensive here! I got 1.5 liters of water in Spain for like 35 cents! Bezoya was probably my favorite. It was all mineral water, but Bezoya was lighter than all the others. All the others tasted really mineral-y… and heavy on the tongue. I just don’t like waters like that. They fill me up quickly. Gross.

I miss our upstairs bathroom. I miss how the sink was weirdly placed and how tiny the shower was, and how it took so long for the water to heat up… And how quickly I had to be in and out of the shower. And how, out the window, I could see in others’ apartments. Listen to their television shows. When the rain fell, the temperature would drop slightly, and the breeze would come in over the open window and it felt so refreshing. Always.

Fanta Limon was the best… I wish we had it here.

I miss loud Spanish voices drifting through the bedroom window at 1 in the morning while I was doing homework.

I miss the Chinese supermercado, Supermercado Zen. With the hellacious walk from the city center to Myriam’s house, it was like an Oasis. We’d get Diet Coke or Fanta or water and sometimes ice cream there and then walk the rest of the way home and nap. Some days it was so hot.

I miss being able to go to a bar and ask for a sangria. What I would do to have one from El Desvan right now…

I miss being away from the stress of life in the United States. While I was in Spain, I didn’t have to think of my broken heart because I wasn’t reminded of who broke it every day. The only person I loved when I was there was Iker Casillas. Okay, and Xabi. And DEFINITELY Sergio Ramos. I didn’t go a day without hooping and hollering about futbol… I can’t get over how incredible it was the first day I was there.

Maybe I’m feeling strange right now for no reason, or maybe a good reason. I think about Spain every day, but tonight, I am missing it hard. I felt at home there, even if it was hot, and even if people were rude, and even if passing by the meat shops made me want to  vomit every day. My heart is dying for Spain, or to love something as much as I love Spain.

Everything is really hard right now, but Spain is calling… so I must push through.



About baileyeliz

it's all laid bare at your feet
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